JUST IN: Cleveland head coach gives analysis on the browns activities this week;A Probable Week of Rest, Injury Updates, and Invariably Doomed Resolutions

Greetings, Cleveland Browns supporters!

Even though I think most New Year’s resolutions are nonsense, I still make them. The first things that are generally listed are “lose weight” and “take better care of myself.” These, you know, are difficult and involve breaking sixty years of habit, which is why they usually don’t work.

Now that I have a new scale in my bathroom and my steel-cut unsweetened oatmeal and coffee, I’m taking that old plunge once more.

I could definitely accomplish this more easily if I just made some resolutions related to bloviation and this daily Newswire, as things are far simpler to maintain than true self-discipline.

Thus, these are some goals I’m thinking about achieving:

Kevin Stefanski should always be addressed as “Obi-Wan.”. He looked a lot like Obi-Wan Stefanski in a picture I came across, and he reportedly joked about it with officials once. This suggests that I have fairly decent instincts. For me to give it any thought, I believe he needs to win at least one playoff game. STATUS: Perhaps.
I’m going to stop using words like “quixotic” in my goal. There are some words that I just believe are nice to use and convey exactly what I mean. Even though they’re not often used, I still use them because they’re expressive and because I assume that most modern browsers will allow you to right-click to view the definition if necessary. However, I also believe that some readers are turned off by my failure to polarize my writing. I’m going to take a lower readership and be content with the writing I produced; screw it. I’m myself. Status: Most likely not.

Quit becoming a devoted fan of Andrew Berry. Even if I hesitate when I write about it, it’s clear to me that I like Andrew Berry’s accomplishments and the work he’s done, even though I also have an inclination to defend his mistakes. However, an astute columnist never totally believes in it, knowing full well that the majority of front-office bosses and coaches are eventually dismissed or falter. There’s also the entire “objectivity” thing that authors are expected to adhere to. Status: Most likely.

Refrain from making fun of Terry Pluto. Let’s get real here: even at my late age, I’m still regarded as a punk with a website, and he’s a legend. He’s the best columnist in town, in my opinion; he’s intelligent, knowledgeable, able to integrate important topics, and able to convey genuine emotion on paper. In addition, I find it particularly irritating that he or her editor frequently talks down to their readers in the titles and content of their columns. If you’re targeting a large audience, then perhaps pitching material in a particular way makes sense, but I kind of insist on believing that our audience is more likely to enjoy a fine bourbon than to require a juice box to keep them busy. Status: I will attempt to avoid being the evil twin.

Refuse to reduce speed. Develop or perish. In terms of content, 2023 was the best year yet, and I’m proud of the work we produced. I start the year focused on both areas where we still have room for growth and progress. Even after over 25 years, I’m still enthusiastic about this, and perhaps the football squad has chosen to participate as well. STATUS: Let’s go for it.

I hope you had a wonderful one! GO BLUE!